


we were close.

by Benobi



Series: everything's the same, but Ben exists. [6]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 04:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benobi/pseuds/Benobi
Summary: ben receives some unfortunate news.





	we were close.

**Author's Note:**

> set sometime in the middle of season two. for context, ben cannot go to war due to problems with his ears and eyes.

“Letter for you, Benjamin.”

Ben had a mouthful of breakfast, so couldn’t speak, but smiled his thanks when Mr Carson passed him the letter. The chatter continued around him as he opened the envelope, skimming his eyes down the contents. His face fell, and he felt Anna staring at him.

“Ben, whatever’s the matter?” She asked gently. Sorrow gripped his throat, forcing the words to stay in. Shaking his head, Ben rose from his seat, storming out of the servant’s hall and nearly knocking Thomas down in his path as he was entering.

The hall had fallen to silence for a moment, before O'Brien broke it; “What was that about?” She said, rather pointedly towards Anna.

“In a time of war, do we really need to guess what his letter said?” Mrs Hughes sighed quietly, shaking her head in sympathy of the boy.

Thomas thought for a second, glancing between the door Ben retreated to and the servant's hall, weighing his options, before deciding finally to follow him outside. 

When Thomas did find him, he was sitting on the bench, hunched over with his head in his hands. The tremble of his shoulders saddened Thomas more than it should have. “You dashed out before I could ask you what was wrong.” He said, mostly to get his attention. The younger man looked up, a little startled, and furiously whipped away his tears. “Pack it in. I already saw.”

Thomas sat down beside him, lighting up a cigarette and taking a drag. He passed it to Ben, who took it, despite not being a smoker. Thomas watched him take an uneasy breath, choking a little when the smoke hit his throat. Silently, he passed it back.

“I got a letter from my da.” He sniffed hard, fiddling with the bit of paper. “He’s written to tell me that Henry- That is... One of his farmhands has died in the trenches.”

“And why is he telling you this?” 

“Henry and I were childhood friends. We were... close.”

Thomas blanked a little, letting out a huff. “Were you indeed.” He commented, but quickly bit his tongue when Ben sent him a glare. 

“I didn’t mean to worry you. You've already got enough on your plate.” He sniffed hard again, folding the letter up and slipping it into his pocket. “I'd been lucky to not be affected fully until now. The war has hit us all.”

Corporal Barrow sighed in agreeance. Sometimes his hand still throbbed with phantom pains of the bullet that sliced a hole through it. As happy as he was to be out of the trenches, he would never forget that pain and fear. “Well,” Thomas sighed, sending Ben a smile he hoped was comforting. “We'll figure this out together.”

Thomas' ungloved hand squeezed his knee. Ben looked up at that, the two of them locking eyes in a tense second. His mind wandered back to the last time they were this close, before the war. Wrapped in a heated embrace, Thomas' hands clinging to his back and hot breath licking at his neck. It had been just a hug, but it had stayed with Ben all this time.

“Thomas, do you ever feel, like...” Ben trailed off, eyes flickering between the pair of bright blues looking at him with intent and curiosity. “Like even in a crowded room, you just feel ever so lonely?”

Considering the question, Thomas didn’t move his hand from Ben’s knee. “I did.” He replied thoughtfully, gently rubbing his knee. “Not so much anymore, I think."

Ben’s eyes flickered down to his lips, that looked as pouted as ever. It was for a brief second, but it didn’t go amiss from Thomas, who let out a shuddered breath. “We should go back inside. We’ve both got work.” The younger whispered, swallowing hard as he stood, feeling the warm hand slide past his thigh. Instead of running, he turned, holding a hand out. “Come on, Corporal.” He grinned.

Thomas couldn’t help but smirk up at him, quickly taking the hand extended and rising. After a quick look around to make sure of their isolation, he raised Ben’s hand and kissed the back of it sweetly. The way his face lit up under the freckles gave him butterflies like some ridiculous schoolboy.

“You know where to find me, if you need me.”


End file.
